A second post in one day. I must be inspired. In light of my previous post on lock-in and praying late into the night…

Do you ever have a moment like this? You really wanna get blessed but just can’t stay awake. You try to listen to the sermon but it’s like you have narcolepsy. You try to pray but you drift into lala land. Dangit! I wanna get blessed, but I am so tir… zzzzz….. Let me tell you, I definitely have my share of stories. Allow me to share a few things to encourage you if you struggle to stay awake.

1. At OIL when I was a college freshie. Every night (4 days/3 nights retreat) the schedule was prayer meeting after the sermon till like 2-3am. It was just an absurd schedule, but without fail, each day was filled with knock-out-of-the-park-blessings. However, being an OIL neophyte, I thought I might die of prayer exhaustion. I was just so tired by the end of the retreat. (Put me in a body bag and take me back to Chicago!) To wrap up the retreat, we had a communion service. I get my bread and grape juice and sit back down. The pastor goes into his spiel and I drift into deeeeeeep sleeeeeep. I remember feeling nice and toasty too, bundled up in my thick winter garb, dreaming about Jesus, and then… (screeching sound) you know those quick naps in class where you are jerked awake by something, like a noise or falling off a cliff in your dream? Yep, happened to me at that moment. As I woke up in a violent jerk, I SQUEEZED my hand–the one with the cup of juice in it. The thing explodes all over me and I have to lick, not drink, the grape juice off the palm of my hand. It was very dramatic. Then I fell back asleep.

2. Taking sermon notes as you are sleeping. This is not just one incident for I have done this many times. Here’s how it usually goes. You’re tired. The sermon is probably pretty good because you hear people laughing and responding. You laugh along to pretend you’re awake but you know what you look like right? Your face looks like a bad Jack Nicholson impression which suddenly relaxes into a drunk man’s face. Your small group members are sitting around you so you want to set a good example but it’s pretty bad. You just can’t stay awake to save your life! You have your notebook of choice (fancy journal, trapper keeper, whatever) on your lap and I don’t know why but for me it’s always a pen that has drippy ink like vampire blood, never a ball point pen or a pencil. I have to say, I am a master at writing while my eyes are closed. It’s like my spirit is dancing Lady Gaga-like in the third heavens while my body is taking notes on earth. It’s very ethereal. So I write for about a good 10 minutes. Something jerks me awake and I look down at my notes and I see… nonsense. If you could write in tongues, that’s what it would look like. “shabbayabaddaya…” Or other times, you look down at your paper to see that you basically made Aztec symbols over and over again in one spot. That part is completely soaked in ink and 3 more pages after that one are ruined now by said ink stains which have seeped through! Or how about this one? You’re writing rubbish, and then for some reason you have one very legible word but it has nothing to do with anything. Like this: rubbish, rubbish, rubbish…. BIG MAC … rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. Am I crazy here? Does anyone else do this?

3. Falling asleep during prayer time. At a lock in it’s almost inevitable that we will doze off here and there, and for some everywhere. I think God understands. Now, having said that, there are definitely some precautions we can take to not fall asleep. I’m going to try to be as practical as possible.

Don’t put your head on the ground or on the chair. It doesn’t matter whether you are kneeling and putting your head on the ground or sitting Indian style while putting your forehead on the chair/pew. Don’t do it because you are going to fall asleep. I don’t know about you but sometimes I take my hands and make a small pillow (It helps if you have troll-like hands like me. Trust me, it’s not a pretty sight. My wife calls them baseball mitts.) and lay my forehead on it. Better than a down comforter I tell ya. Or if you sit Indian style and put your head on the pew, it’s actually more comfortable than the kneeling position depending on the height of the chair and your torso length. But this too will insure your ownage by sleepage. Plus, you’ll wake up feeling like little people are sticking needles up and down your leg and feet. Also, your face will look like Frodo took a hobbit iron and pressed down real hard on it.

Pray out loud. There’s something about hearing yourself pray that helps you stay awake. If you are so tired that as you pray you start saying nonsensical things (as I have) like, “God… help me… my brother… dog is dying… President Obama… Shibboleth…” then you know you’re falling asleep and can go get a drink of water. But you have to be careful. Please make sure that as you pray out loud, you don’t start airing out your dirty laundry. It’s a fine line between dream world and reality, my friend. Don’t yell out the name of someone you like (“Lord, why doesn’t [insert name here] give me the time of day!? I love her/him sooo much. (followed by soft sobs)”) and never scream out your secret sins (“God, I am so sorry that I looked at www.ishouldntlookhere.com!”). Also, make sure you remember it’s not a shouting contest. You don’t have to be the loudest guy. The point is not to keep everyone else awake, but to keep yourself awake. You need to take it down a couple of notches before you burst a blood vessel in your forehead. But don’t get me wrong. I would rather have that then some of you yogi types out there who pray like you’re doing transcendental meditation.

4. Worship Sleeping. This is when you know you’re super super tired. I have on two occasions fallen asleep while standing. This is not natural. The thing about falling asleep while standing is that unless you are propped up by something (wall, post, another human being, etc.) you will eventually fall down. For me, it goes like this. It’s a slow song and I close my eyes. Big mistake, off to lala land. Then, abruptly my legs buckle like someone whacked me from behind on the soft spot behind my knees. If you’re lucky, you’ll catch yourself by holding on to your friend, post, or wall. However, if you are not so lucky, you can always milk it for all its worth. Make it look really spiritual and act like you got slain by the Holy Spirit. Your face should have a smile or an intense frown to display pure joy or pure conviction. Your eyes should be closed. Prophetic words are optional. But don’t stay down too long because it is closing praise after all and you’ll look like an idiot sleeping on the carpet after everyone’s gone and the janitor is vacuuming around your body.

In all seriousness though, how great is it that Jesus knows who we are. As I poke fun at myself I am thankful that Jesus knows I am nothing without him. I can’t pray a single moment nor read a single verse and truly understand it without his grace. He knew his disciples were made of flesh and blood for they slept while he prayed, “⁴⁰Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. ⁴¹“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” (Matt 26:40-41)

Lord, you know our weak and frail bodies. You know our sinful and rebellious hearts. Help us to pray and not sleep. Even when we fail, help us to wake up again and again, for you do not look at how many times we fell asleep but how many times we tried to rise again. Amen.

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